Forest Gump said in the movie, “I’ve worn lots of shoes…” “If I think real hard then I can remember my first pair shoes” “Momma said they were my ‘magic’ shoes…they would take me anywhere…”

Like Forest, I’ve worn lots of shoes. Not the shoes you wear on your feet but the titles people place on us (or we place on ourselves). These shoes take us places or define us. If I were defining myself I might say “father, employee, student, patient, son, brother..” - all are true. But, none of those labels are me. Like Forest’s shoes which took him from one point in life to another my ‘titles’ have taken me from one point in my life to another - just like shoes.

Have you ever had a pair of shoes that fit so well you refused to ‘not’ wear them even though they were hideous or didn’t match anything? I sure have. Which leads me to wonder; do we hang on to titles that ‘feel comfortable with’ or ‘fit just right’ because we are too afraid to break in a new one? Maybe.

So which is it? Am I a father (yes), am I an employee (yes), am I a student (yes), am I a patient (well maybe not anymore) -more on this later, if I am all (or most of) these things then who am I really? Before we answer that question let’s talk about a few more labels. Am I a son (yes), and I a brother (yes), am I a friend (yes - I hope so), am I a lover (not at the moment - I’m single–crap yet another label!), am I man (yes).

With all these labels and “persona” it’s no wonder that people go through life not knowing who they are!

So let’s ask that question again…who am I really? Golly, now I am more confused than before! Who am I? I am more than father. I more than an employee. I am more than a student. I am more than patient. Am I really more than the sum of all my parts? Random thought: maybe I am under-paid? If I am these things, have I under-sold my worth all this time? Have I worn the comfortable shoes because they were my favorite or because I didn’t want to challenge my own feelings of self-worth and put on the shoes that I should be wearing?

Remember Forest Gump? He wore those shoes with braces until he literally ran himself out of them. Hmm..I think I might see a analogy coming. Am I ready to run right out of those braces and break into a flat run? Is my self-worth tired of being held back by braces on my shoes? Am I tired of being pegged in the back of the head with rocks because I refuse to just run? Run Forest…run.

So, my labels have defined me all these years. “Big Bo” - “Big Daddy” - “Big Bo-Clyde”. Some more positive - employee, student, patient. Some I enjoy father, son, brother, friend. But none of these tell you who I am do they? So what label defines me?

I am evolving. My shoes are changing. My label is changing. My value is on the rise. My optimism is changing. I am about to run. Remember when Forest took out those ‘old school’ Nike shoes? Those things just screamed “Run Forest”! He puts on his new shoes. And then one day for no reason at all he just started running. He ran all the way across the county, state, and country. He just ran.

Begin background music.

I was recently faced with a issue that upset me greatly. I have been planning to have revision bariatric surgery because having gone from 626 to 241 back up to 350 I was feeling some of the negative labels pegging in the back of the head. I was being looked at and talked about. I felt like another label - failure. I had all my hopes on the revision. I was counting on it. I needed it to bring me out of the label pit. I needed a new pair of shoes. I needed to feel like running.

Sadly, my revision surgery will not happen anytime soon and I was not happy about that fact. But, just when I was about to give up a tiny spark blew into a flame inside. I got angry. I reached down inside myself and pulled up the biggest scoop of courage I could grab and I came up with another plan. My Plan B. I won’t go too far into my plan because that will be another blog but the plan helped me define myself. It gave me insight into the label that all the other labels and shoes I wear derive their power from. I am a mirror. Let me explain.

I don’t plan to wait around for some silly revision surgery when I have the strength to hold my own destiny in my hands! I don’t need to go under the scalpel again to make me feel good about myself. I am not going to ask the world to hold my mirror for me so I can see my reflection…I am going to be the one that holds the mirror for someone else…I already know what I am and who I am. I decided that if it takes me ten years to lose 120 lbs I will do it and I will help others do it too.

My job is to help others find themselves. That is who I am. I am successful at life and I am an achiever. My new diet plan is just the tip of the ice-berg to what is about to come out of this life. I tapped into the ‘running source’ and I finally know my label. I am a mirror. I help. I reflect. I give the people around me the opportunity to view themselves the way only a mirror can. I amplify the things that emanate from others so they can see their own labels. Being a mirror is what I am good at. It is what I have always done without knowing what our how. I just did it because I am that person.

Before the ‘haters’ throw stones. Being a mirror isn’t a sign of perfection or arrival. I never said that. I said I found my purpose. I said I found what I am good at. I found that thing that sourced my life without me knowing it. I said, I am here for you. I am servant of all. My job is to help you find your TRUE label.

I am holding the mirror up for you…what do you see? What shoes do you have on? What label fits you best? Don’t laugh millions of people live, breath, and die having never answered this question: Who am I?

Few things in my life have impacted my view of the world, the people around me, and life in general, than my daughter Baili. She came into my life at a time when I was in transition and searching for myself. In many ways she has helped me find and/or define who I am. Baili gave me a focal point that was lacking in my life and she inspired me to become a better person. I suppose I am not alone in this story. I would be willing to bet there are millions of parents who can say the same thing.

Children have a way of cauterizing our lives so that hemorrhage of our own childhood is stopped. By this I mean, we get visit our own childhood again through our children. I have watched in awe how the most -simple toy can entertain Baili while more expensive ones seem to bore her. But, it wasn’t watching her play with toys that has affected me the most, it was Alex.

Alex is a boy aged five or six who attended daycare with my daughter. I remember about six months ago Baili came home from daycare one day very excited about her new friend- Alex. Baili went on and on about how much she liked playing with Alex and she couldn’t wait to see him again ‘tomorrow’. Baili, only being three at the time equates just about anything that is not ‘today’ as ‘tomorrow’, this was a Friday afternoon, so I decided to tell Baili that she would see Alex on Monday.

On Saturday, Baili and I were preparing to go to the store so I was getting her all dressed and she said to me…”daddy, I miss Alex – I want to see him..” To which I replied, “awww..you miss your friend..” she said “yes, daddy – I love him ….I love you but I love him more…” I wasn’t really ready to hear that but I was able to control my response. I did reply, “it’s good to love your friends because that is important…” I reassured her that Monday would come soon enough and she could see Alex.
Alex became the topic of conversation over the next month or so. I heard about how Baili and Alex played on the playground, etc. This went on for about a three or four weeks.

One day Baili told me that “I am mad at Alex”. I asked her why. She said, “He was being mean to me today.” Details were sketchy on this so I told her that he would probably be nicer the next time she saw him. Apparently, the ‘fight’ was short lived because things went back to normal. Then one day Baili told me that Alex wasn’t coming to daycare anymore because Alex’s mother lost her job. Baili was very sad at the loss of her friend and it was sad as a parent to see her affected so deeply by Alex not being at daycare any longer.

It was then that I realized that Alex was more than just a friend to Baili. He was a persona of the man she may marry someday. I realized that literally Alex is just a boy but he represented something far more significant to Baili’s life. He was her first non-Daddy male role model. He was her first ‘crush’. I began to analyze what had transpired between Baili and Alex and I learned something about being a father that I will share with my readers.

I learned that it was my job to care for and feed Alex. Of course, I am not talking about the literal Alex that was playing on the playground but the “Alex” image that was being built in Baili’s heart. You see, I learned that most little girls have an image of what is a ‘prince’ or an ideal man. I also realized that for a moment the Alex that was on the playground had sparked something inside of Baili that she identified with. Something in the real Alex was ‘attractive’ to Baili. What was it? I don’t know. But, I know how Baili learned to look for it.

I realized I was setting examples every day to Baili on how she should be treated by men. So, when she hit the playground and she met Alex, he must have demonstrated some of the same characteristics that Baili found comforting. I now know that the care and feeding of the persona that will become Baili’s “Alex” later in life is up to me.

I have a job to do. I have to care for and feed the best possible characteristics in my life so that I can demonstrate to Baili what she should be looking for in “Alex”. Something bothered me about this. What happens if I am not a good example in certain areas? Well, the short answer – I have to change. I have to begin cultivating in my own life the image of “Alex”. If I want my daughter to grow up and respect herself enough to find a wonderful man then it is my job to be a wonderful man and set the best possible example.

The other day Baili told me, “Dad, I have decided – I am going to marry Alex and Brianne is going to marry Maverick”. – That clinched it for me. I knew I was right in my understanding that I am not only raising a four year old girl but I am raising the image of “Alex” in her heart and I owe it to her to help her understand what things are most important in life.

In truth, I am learning every day. I don’t know the first thing about parenting that I didn’t learn by trial and error. But, I do know about loving someone enough to care about their future that is why I learning to care for and feed “Alex”.

For most of my life I spent hours wishing I was in a relationship and or ‘with someone’. I thought that was what you had to do. What was expected. Maybe even I felt I ‘needed’ it. Either way, the end result was the same. I spent an inordinate amount of timing being fixated on the topic. Always, in search mode or ‘need’ mode. I realized some time back that this was rooted in an intrinsic belief system that I wasn’t a ‘whole person’. I thought you had to be in a relationship to be ‘whole’ or complete.

Now forget for a moment that every ‘love story’ on television and or chick flick I have ever seen ends with the couple being together. That is by definition a ‘love story’ right? Sure. But what about the story where a person is in a relationship; it ends and they they go on to be great… not so many of those stories around are there? I wonder why? I thought about this topic and I realized it is because society cannot deal with a single person without trying to fix them up.

The sexes get dealt a odd hand on this one. Women are constantly being told ‘you need to find yourself a good man’ or ‘you need to get back in the game’. While, men are told ‘hey man play the field”, “keep your options open”. Ever check the source on these statements? I mean for men or women most of the time ‘Job’s counselors’ as they should be called, are usually in a dysfunctional bad relationship and they are trying to give you advice. Huh, did I miss something?

You see single people everywhere. I have seen them in the restaurants, grocery store, at the movies. Admit it, when we see a person alone we have a couple of instant feelings toward that person. 1) Pity. We feel sorry for them. Aww…”look at that …she is all alone” or “He looks so lonely” even if we don’t admit it there is a part of us that feels sorry for people who are single. 2) We think there must be something wrong with them. Especially, an attractive person who is single. Wow, you can’t imagine how they must “really be..” cause if they are good looking - god knows they shouldn’t have time finding dates so they have some ‘issues’ that are not obvious. Those issues can range from emotional baggage to social diseases. Admit it, we imagine the worst. 3) They just haven’t met the right person. This is the inner ‘cupid’ in everyone. I have done this. I had a person in my life that I was determined that I was going to encourage them to get back in the ‘game’. I kept telling them ‘it’s been long enough….’ The person was gracious but you know I think my attempts to be cupid were just cruel in retrospect.

In the industry I work in many people are going through major life changes and they transform from one emotional state to another sometimes in the matter of months. What would take some people years to transition through many people in the weight loss industry experience in a relatively short period of time. I believe this is why within this industry there are so many divorces. I have heard that the divorce rate among gastric bypass patients is over 60%. I even heard the figure 70%. No matter the number those figures are staggering. See insert (bottom) for story regarding bariatric surgery and divorce. (S. VORENBERG, 2004)

So why are so many bariatric patients getting divorced? Of course the pathology of each marriage would be different but there is one thing that is a common thread among all the divorces…weight loss. What would weight loss have to do with divorce? Why would a ‘normal’ ‘healthy’ marriage be subdued by weight loss? The answer may be very simple. People marry because they feel it is expected, normal, and/or they feel they ‘need’ it. When a person undergoes extreme weight loss their emotional states change and they may begin to access their life and biopsy their life decisions. What happens more times than not many people find they married someone because the option and expectation was there. Of course this cannot be true for all failed marriages but I am sure we will see more and more studies on divorce and weight loss. I think the weight loss industry is a great place to study emotional relationships because of the high relationship turnover rates.

So what happens when a person who has been married or in a committed relationship for years finds themselves on the ’streets’ again. Let me just say, the dating streets have become more hostile than Iraq. You have to be armed and dangerous to maneuver the dating options these days. What prompted this blog today was a television ad for eHarmony’s free Labor Day weekend. I saw the commercial and I laughed out loud. It should have been pitched as an “all you date” weekend. It’s like a buffet this weekend folks…all you date, email, and communicate!

I have had an eHarmony account for about a year or so, maybe more. I refuse to log into the thing. I have come to laothe online dating and commercials that promote it. Why you say? Because not only can I go about the normal everyday life version of dating and/or being rejected but NOW - I can date and/or be rejected by hundreds of people at a time. I means its like speed-rejection. It numbs your sensitivity to organic grown relationships. My tolerance for people (single dating women) has become so low that I shut down the process at the slightest hint of any issue that resembles a previous failed relationship or bad-date-scenarios.

It would great to find honest and genuine people in the dating realm (and of course they exist) but sifting through the hundreds of bad dates potentials to find the diamond in the rough seems like a lot of work! Dating in 2010 is nearly a full time job. You have to have a profile on a couple different website. You have to have Facebook account. You have to answer ads, emails, ’smiles’, likes, phone calls, and the like. I mean if I seriously wanted to use a dating site to find a person I would spend no less than 2 - 3 hours a day just having to sift emails, profiles, etc. Not to mention actually having a conversation with one,two, or three just to make sure you have multiple ‘irons’ in the fire.

So let’s say you find one that seems ‘pretty cool’ and meets your initial ‘must haves’. You spend a few hours on the phone, couple dates, etc etc. Next thing you know they are calling you to borrow money to pay they light bill, or to get their car fixed, or they tell you they have decided to not ‘date white guys’ - (this one was my personal favorite) So, you spend HOURS and HOURS dating only to find yourself right back in front of your computer looking at profiles again. If this sounds too cynical - I am sorry. But, from the ashes of cynicism I have learned who I am.

Why single doesn’t mean singular (or why being single can be a fabulous time in your life.).

Being single for the past few years has allowed me to discover who I am. I have always thought I knew who I was. What does that mean, ‘to know who you are’? Well, if you can’t answer that question then you don’t know who you are. I can tell you how I find myself. I found myself in my relationship with my daughter. I found myself in my relationship with being a full-time student. I found myself in my work life. But, most of all I found myself in the silent hours I spend alone. I found that in the past I didn’t really like myself very much. I didn’t like who I was at 626 lbs and I was on a course to change that person into something that I was becoming very proud of but I derailed my own personal journey. I forced my life to change when I should have allowed it to evolve.

Evolve it has. I can honestly say that I am happier now that I examine my life, than I ever have been, not because I am single but because I finally ‘met myself’ . This ‘happiness’ came with a price. Not to discount that price I will say It is terrible what we do to ourselves and others in utter ignorance only to mature later and find it could have been avoided if we had only listened to ourselves (inner person). Of my mistakes in life I grasp and own them because they have made me who I am today. Single and fabulous. Why fabulous? Because, I am a whole person now. When I was in my previous relationships I was not whole. I was only a fraction of myself. I have grown-up into myself.

Even more fabulous; I am better equipped to be in a relationship now than I have ever been. I know what is important, I know what my ‘cant’ stands’ are and I know what my ‘deal breakers’ are. It might seem arrogant to say that if someone has “x” trait that is deal-breaker to me. It implies I am better. It isn’t meant to be arrogant because only a few things are deal-breakers and none of those are related to looks, money, size, etc. All of my deal-breakers are related to who the person ‘truly is’. I do not apologize for my list nor should you.

My list of things that Single and Fabulous people do:

• Discover who you really are. Own your person and focus on personal growth.
• Make a list of ‘must haves’ and ‘deal breakers’ but don’t focus on this until your sure you know you.
• Don’t make excuses for being single. - embrace who you are and exude that personality!
• Gather your troops. Circle yourself with friends and family that love you and support you.
• Set the bar much higher and don’t date beneath your worth.
• Enrich your life with hobbies, pets, vacations, and/or go back to school.
• Set goals for your life.
• Flirt often and don’t assume the ‘type’ of person your looking for because your ‘type’ may have changed (remember you know who you are now, you may not have been looking for the right person before) –recent studies show that flirting raises your white blood count.

So what happens if your married and you feel you are in ‘trouble’ or made a mistake? First thing, seek professional support from a therapist or religious order. But, I do offer a simple thing you can do in addition to seeking professional assistance. They say the key to any relationship is communication. First, communicate with yourself. What is really wrong? What is the real issue? Are you helping the issue or making it worse? Examine yourself closely talk to your significant other and then seek help together. You can be married and fabulous too!

(Disclaimer — I am not Doctor, Psychologist, or Therapist I am sharing this information from my own life-experience and maybe some portion of it will help you. If you disagree with this blog you are free to do so. Please take this blog for what it is meant to be …a journey of exploration into the reality of dating and the distorted views that many people have towards dating.)

Go and be single and fabulous or married and fabulous as the case may be!

http://www.seattlepi.com/national/180580_bypass03.html

Gastric bypass surgery has its risks, including divorce

By SUE VORENBERG
SCRIPPS HOWARD NEWS SERVICE

Yvonne Lovato admits she was skeptical when doctors told her that a common complication of gastric bypass surgery was divorce.

Two years after her surgery, she knows better. Divorce was one of the many complications the surgery held for the 34-year-old telecommunications worker. She has been in and out of the hospital so much since her October 2002 procedure that she says she’s afraid she might lose her job.

“Along with gall bladder surgery and hair loss, divorce really is a thing that can happen after this surgery,” said Lovato, who lives in Albuquerque, N.M. “The doctors told me what happens is the husband gets afraid — they’re married to this large person, and suddenly they don’t know what they’re going to be like anymore.” (Continues)

In 2002, when I began my journey towards weight loss I had but one simple goal, lose weight. I didn’t really know what a ‘good’ weight would be but starting at 626 lbs anything seemed to be good so I said to myself “275″. Silently, of course.

My journey took me warp-speed down to 241 lbs. Of course some of that weight loss was due to plastic surgery but it counts right? Of course. I have said before that I was 241 lbs for about five minutes. Then I began regaining weight.

This is where the story needs honesty and attention. First truth. Most weight loss patients regain 5% - 20% of their excess body weight lost during the slim-down phase. OK, so a few pounds - I am normal - yeah! Second truth, patients in the ‘bariatric’ community are both naive to weight regain and or refuse to believe it can happen. Third truth, many (but not all) patients in the bariatric community see weight regain as a failure. Fourth truth, many (but not all) patients in the bariatric community treat people who regain weight very disrespectfully and judgmentally. Fifth, and final truth, the journey we are on is a life-time commitment and the journey isn’t over until we reach a stable healthy weight.

Consider this. If you went to a movie that was four hours long and stayed until intermission, got up and left can you say you have ’seen’ the movie? Can you tell how the movie is going to end? If you assume the ending and leave you will never know how the story ends. What happens if you join the movie at intermission? …You didn’t see the beginning…you would be confused and/or unable to understand what’s happening. You might love the villain and hate the hero because you don’t know what happen in the first act.

Now apply what we have just learned. For some, I have known you for years (beginning) you have seen the beginning of my journey and you know the story-line. Others, I met you at the height of my weight loss and you know me at my lowest weight. (Apex or intermission) Others, I met after I regained weight you know me now. (cliff hanger scene of my life) Still others, I will meet next week, month, year - will know me then. (the journey - storyline ‘how it ends’)

Recently, I met someone who knew me at the apex of my weight loss. The person is an industry professional and the person made some rather rude comments about ‘how much weight I’ve gained’. I didn’t get angry at the truth I got angry at the presumption of fault and/or unrealistic view of success. Since the ‘professional’ was also a patient whom I have known for years I could have easily responded “so have you” but, I have a sober understanding of the reality of this journey and I refuse to judge people who are struggling.

—–My internal thoughts about the person———————————————–
How is understanding lost with weight loss? How do people become un-empathetic to their peers who journey alongside them? Another truth seems obvious. I heard once the lottery is like adding gas to character flaws. I think weight loss is like adding gas to a persons true nature (character) and/or who they really are. A person ‘thinks’ they know who they are before losing weight but in reality this surgery exposes any (and possibly all) internal instabilities and character defects.
—————————————————————————————–

But then I realized something. They are on the journey too. My journey has brought me to understanding and empathy. I don’t ‘really’ know the person and their journey I don’t know what ‘act’ of the movie we are seeing in them. I felt sorry for the person because I realized that they couldn’t see their own movie. They didn’t realize their own life had transformed and while their weight loss was still very significant and weight regain was minor - their nature had not transformed to something beautiful but something ugly (villainous). It was then I realized I must be the hero of my movie (life) because the hero always faces the villain(s).

So there I was face-to-face with a villain. My movie playing out right in front of me. I could have given over to the ‘dark side’ and mixed-it-up but instead; I replied to the person - “stick around the journey isn’t over yet”.

Life (the journey, the movie, whatever you want to call it) has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Only those whom are worthy stay with you all the way through. Only those who care about you stay when the ‘battle’ is about to take place. Only those who truly love you will be with you when you face your villain(s). This journey isn’t over until you have faced your villains.

Where are you on the journey?

I willingly admit that I am ox moron when comes to food knowledge. I suppose that is why I have struggled with food addictions most of my life. RNY in 2002 helped me curb my appetites until 2006. In 2006 I began to regain weight and I have struggled every since to keep the weight off. Because I work in the gastric bypass industry you would think I would have access to the best science, support, and friends. You would be right. But have you ever met a person who worked at a restaurant and asked them ‘how do you like the food here…’ more times than not they respond…’I use to eat her all the time but since I work here I just don’t have an appetite for it’. I suppose you might say that my working in bariatrics has desensitized me to the information that is shuffled in front of me daily.

I have lost my ‘taste’ for the support and information. Not coincidentally I have re-found my taste for food. What better way to spark a food love than to be around 300 people with the same vice! So, when something comes along that is truly off the beaten path from ‘normal bariatric messages’ the information being NEW to me gets my attention. That is how I came to enjoy the programs being presented by Dr. Will Clower. Noted author, speaker, and innovative scientist Will is an ambassador for a simple message. Eat good food and its OK to love what you eat.

Now before you dismiss this please understand we are not talking about loving a bag of Lay’s potato chips we are talking about loving fruits, vegetable, meats, and things that are fresh (not processed). This program is not the same as liking cheesecake! So what is so special about Will’s message? Well the special is in the simplicity. He says …slow down. Eat fresh. Enjoy your meal. Stay away from sugars, processed garbage food, and of course most if not all fast food. Can it really be that simple?

Well, that is where this blog and you come in. I journey to the store recently and shelled out over $100 bucks for healthy foods that had words like (fresh, organic, and no preservatives). I cooked a meal last night for dinner my meal plan:

Brown rice (small amount of butter)
Peas
Butterflied pork center cut tenderloin.

This was the meal. Nothing extra special but the flavor was certainly good. I sat down and made myself take 10 minutes to eat that meal. I then took the leftovers and placed in fridge. Guess what I had for lunch today? You guessed it. I spent 10 more minutes eating the same meal. I added broccoli florets as a side salad (just to make me think it wasn’t the same meal)

One more thing I want to share. Will gave the audience in NY a ‘chocolate eating’ lesson that stunned my sense of chocolate love to its core. I am a self-proclaimed chocoholic and I can eat a Hershey bar like it is nothing. So when Will handed me a piece of 72% Dark Chocolate the size of a 1 inch square and he told me to break in four pieces I thought he was crazy. I did as he asked and I placed one piece on my tongue and let it dissolve (you can’t bite it) –Will’s rules. So there I am with a piece of melting chocolate in my mouth at an ‘obesity conference’ there is something so naughty and tawdry about that I actually felt like I was joining the chocolate mile-high club! My chocolate melted and I could taste chocolate on my tongue so intense that I enjoyed it for some time. I continued to listen to Will’s talk. I decided to ONLY take the next bite when the taste left my mouth. Do you want to know how long it took me to eat a one inch square piece of chocolate? Two hours. I ate and or tasted chocolate for 2 hours. I felt like I was in the middle of coma or something. I never once felt like I had over eaten and my URGE to have sweets was so saited that I came home on a mission to buy some 72% pure chocolate Godiva!

I am trying to convert my life to a Mediterranean approach. For more information on the innovate lifestyle meal plan visit Dr. Will Clower’s site at http://willclower.com/medwellness.php

This is not a sponsored content blog. The opinion are real and uncompensated.

In my day-to-day job I speak with many surgeons, hospital administrators, and bariatric coordinators and many of the persons I speak with have little idea how to target the marketing of the program to reach patients in the bariatric industry. I have consulted with 600 or more surgeon’s through-out the country and I have compiled a short list of things that I recommend all practices do prior to the launch of a marketing campaign. I also have compiled some ideas that might help define not only how to market, but where to market.

Top ten things a practice needs to know before launching a marketing campaign:

1. Bariatric marketing is not like other demographics. The patients are wise, Internet savvy, and have in most cases become very educated on the topic of obesity surgery.

2. In some markets the competition has become fierce, forcing some practices to increase marketing budgets to compensate. Areas that are highly concentrated and may require higher budgets:
-Southern California.
-Seattle, Washington.
-Houston and Dallas, Texas.
-New York, New York.
-North and South Florida.
-DC metro area and part of Virginia.

3. Name branding in bariatrics is a key component of success. Establishing a unique brand will help the practice stand out from the crowd. Be careful to not use terms that might cheapen the brand. For example: Budget Bariatrics. (Fail) A somewhat better choice would be “Affordable Bariatrics.” However, I coach programs to define the program by the mission. An example of a great name for a bariatric program: New Hope Bariatrics. The name reflects the desired outcome and is simple enough to be remembered. If your practice is failing on this point, I can help redefine your brand if you have been struggling in this area.

4. Don’t confuse marketing with advertising. This is a common mistake. Professionals attempt to advertise their practice and give up after one or two months. Keep in mind that the average turn-around time from consult to patient is six months. The key to a successful bariatric marketing campaign is to plan on long-term advertising that will create name recognition and branding. . It is a process. You may advertise many times in the history of your practice, but you should always be branding. Launch your marketing and let it stay in-market for as long as your dollars can withstand. This will result in name recognition and ultimately in patients. (Average time is one year or more) The average marketing budget can range from $12,000 to $60,000 annually depending on the media mix you choose. (See number six below for media mix.)

5. Advertise when you have something new to say or sell. Are you recently trained in a special procedure and are now offering these services to your patients? If so, it’s time to advertise. If you have succeeded in branding, (from number four above) you can freely advertise your new services. Make sure the ad is complimentary to your brand image. Do not make the mistake of sending mix message to patients. It is important to remain consistent in your message. Advertise the new service using some of the similar colors, messages, and schemes from your branding campaign. Continuity will be noticed. (The average is three to six months depending on your budget) The average dollars spent can range from $500 -$3000 a month,.

6. Advertise in multiple media outlets. Another big mistake a lot of programs make is that the tend to sink all their dollars into one type of advertising. Some programs swear by newspaper, others by online. Who’s right? They both are. Your practice should assess the amount of money budgeted to spend. Determine your market area. (Do your patients have a limited mileage range?) Define your market range and be sure to put your marketing dollars in a media mix that reaches that market. Below is an example of a distribution of $30K over an annual marketing spending. (With a diverse media mix.)
-Online marketing $12,000 40%
–Profile on listing site $4000
–Banner (geo-targeted) $6000
–Google or Yahoo $2000
Print $12,000 40%
–Industry publication $4000
–Newspaper $8000
Radio $6000 20%
–Seminar advertisements $3000
–Message and branding $3000
An easy way to look at media mix:
-Online (40%)-this is the most versatile type of advertising.
-Print (40%) -this is an age (demographically speaking) specific media. (30 and over.)
-Radio/television (20%) -usually more expensive than print and internet.
Each media outlet should be measured to determine the return on investment. (ROI) Adjustments should be made every six months based on outcomes.

7. Do not underestimate the power of value-ad services. An active surgeon who blogs may be more effective than some types of marketing. A surgeon should use message boards, blogs, Twitter, Facebook, and social networks like ObesityHelp.com to stay in contact with patients, but also to reach out to the industry and market themselves by doing some of the simplest type of marketing; answering questions on a message board. For the patient and community members, your social interaction is priceless and sharing your expertise creates a positive effect on your practice.

8. The best marketing a surgeon can have is his or her own patient’s testimonials. Keeping in mind positive reviews on social networking sites like ObesityHelp.com, Facebook, Twitter and others, are worth their weight in gold to the surgeon. A surgeon should encourage his/her patients to use social networking sites to post personal testimonies. That practice will produce a self perpetuating snow-ball of patients.

9. Hold patient reunions. Many patients love to ’show off their new bodies’ and sponsoring a patient reunion in your area, for your own patients, will energize your patient population and will in-effect make them all ’sales persons’ for your practice. Not unlike the written testimony from number eight above but this is a patient telling their own family and friends about YOU. Programs that do this have higher success rates, happier patients and more patient referrals than those that do not support patients. Cost doesn’t have to be an issue - try a picnic (potluck style) it doesn’t have to cost a fortune. Get creative.

10. Sponsor a support group. You would think this is a no-brainer, but I have met many surgeons that do not have a support group. If you do not have a group, you can contact organizations that train group leaders. ObesityHelp.com has a very low-cost training program for support group leaders. No matter which program you choose to train your leader, you should have a group. In the mean time, you can use an online group system to begin the process of contacting your patients and to get them ready for your new support group. Each group meeting should produce surgery ’seekers’ who have heard about you from a patient friend. (Remember number eight above.)

No mater what marketing you do for your practice, the worst thing a practice can do is- do nothing. The industry has become too congested to not market. Consider the adage “you can’t afford not to advertise.” During tough economic times it is easy to say “cut the marketing” however, that is a knee-jerk reaction. Remember that marketing is perception management to the patient consumer. If you pull your marketing, someone will notice. The message you send might be a negative one; the practice isn’t successful and/or is floundering. If economic times demand a cut-back then scale down your marketing but do not pull the marketing altogether.

I am available to help you with your marketing. I will conduct a one-on-one analysis of your current budget, plan, and focus. To reach me, email me at bomccoy@obesityhelp.com

Bo McCoy,
Director of Sales, ObesityHelp Inc.

Recently I had the chance to journey to Paris, France for the IFSO International Federation for the Surgery of Obesity. The conference is held annually in a different city (world-wide).

This years’ conference focused mainly on topics relating to AGB success, VSG - Bougie size and outcomes, DS Duodenal Switch procedure.

As to not bore my readers I want to summarize the prevailing thoughts presented by the conference.

Regarding AGB - Adjustable gastric banding;

-The overall consensus was the band works in both <60 and >60 BMI however, the long-term outcomes become questionable around year 7. The conference doctors mentioned that while the per case outcomes are based and/or skewed by the BMI the resulting long-term outcomes didn’t support the AGB as long-term surgery solution for obesity rather it was mentioned in more than one setting as a secondary ‘revision’ or in addition to RNY (Dr. Mal Fobi) Over the surgeons agree that the AGB is a safe procedure that provides nominal outcomes (success <50% of EWL -excess weight loss) However, in contrast the definition of a successful surgery was presented as any surgery that produces >50% EWL over time. (7 or more years)

Considerable differences were demonstrated among the presenters leaving one to formulate their own conclusion that the AGB has applications but in some case may or may not be the primary surgery of choice for some patients. This would of course be determined by the surgeon and patient.

Regarding VSG - vertical gastric sleeve

The VSG was presented with considerable favor by 99% of all the presenters. In short the VSG is a stage (1) procedure in the Duodenal Switch operation. However, the procedure itself can be, as was asserted by many presenters, be a primary procedure in and of itself.

The VSG is performed by creating a long cylinder type pouch using the current stomach as a guide. A “bougie” is used to create the correct cylinder pouch. The bougie is very similar in look to a piece of PVC pipe and is used in effect as a stencil for the pouch size. Bougie size used was commiserate to BMI and the aggressiveness of the surgeon.

The data presented demonstrated that VSG results over-time offered equal or greater success (again the same ration >50% EWL) than the RNY procedure. Additionally because the VSG is not a malabsorptive procedure the vitamin deficiencies, dumping, and other issues related to malabsorption are not present. The outcomes presented showed that at or around year three post VSG the patients had met or exceed the success of the RNY (without malabsorptive restriction). This leads the lay-person to conclude that the VSG may become the primary choice for surgeons in the U.S. over the next three to five years as training and insurance companies catch up to the international momentum. Indeed, recently VSG was coded for insurance approval and is being performed under insurance approval in the U.S. at this time.

Duodenal Switch

Of all the surgery types presented certainly the DS is the most radical of all surgeries. The procedure is the most radical of the major surgery types AGB, RNY, VSG. In times past the DS was red flagged by many U.S. surgeons as ‘too aggressive’ or ‘too risky’. Thus, the surgery has had a small but dedicated fan base. The surgery is being performed in only a handful of U.S. cities.

The outcomes presented in patient with BMI >50 seemed strikingly good (maintained weight loss over time) however, as would be expected the surgery produces a varied array of malabsorptive issues if the patient is malcompliant in daily nutrient supplements. Overall the DS can be viewed as a favorable surgery choice for any patient of a super morbidly obese classification. Now that the surgery data is in its ten year it can be expected that additional surgeons will begin to perform the DS surgery in the U.S. The majority of the presenters demonstrated that DS is an effective treatment for obesity but should be performed with strong understanding of after-care compliance.

I hope you gleaned from the IFSO information. No part of this is an endorsement or one or other type of surgery however, a simple “reporting” of the conference. I have not drawn many conclusions from the information given because I am not a medical professional but I have learned what the international community feels about the major surgery types.

From my point of view:

While I am not a surgeon or medical professional I am a patient of whom has already had several surgeries in an attempt to control obesity. My surgery resume:

• RNY 2002
• Hernia repair 2003
• Plastic Surgery I 2004
• Plastic Surgery II 2005
• Stomaphyx. 2007

I began my journey at 626 losing >200 lbs in the first six months. Peaking my weight loss at 385 lbs I found myself at 241 lbs in January of 2005. Since then I have struggled to keep every lb off. My pouch was dilated and measured in 2007 and found to be 200+ cc’s. This is gargantuan compared to pouches of today. In 2002 when I consulted with my surgeon I had no idea of DS, VSG, AGB etc. I only knew about RNY because that was the ‘gold standard’ at the time. Like any procedure the technique and outcomes are perfected over time. I find myself now nearly eight years out form surgery having regained about 120 of the lost 385. That places me very near to the ’success’ and ‘failure’ break-even point. I am hovering at 52% of EWL (success?) it depends on if you measure where I came from, where I have been, or where I want to be?

I choose daily to consider my surgery a success and my new life a testimony to that success. However, many people may view my journey with a bit of skepticism because they remember me at 241 and not 366. To those persons I would say you have entered the ‘play’ at Act III of a five act play. The excitement that built in Act II (being 241 lbs) has let down in Act III and now the conclusion looms. If you are just joining my play in progress you might see my before pictures of 626 and not realize the up and down struggle I have been facing. You view point might be “wow…you look great”. But, because my mind and body remembers the 241 with a longing sense of awe I might not agree with your assessment. But, I have to NOT see that 241 because it creates a negative self image for me. I have to view the 626 and remember just how far the journey has brought me.

So what happen in Act V? How will this play close? I do not know. I wish I had known about VSG in 2002. I wish I had a cure for this disease. But, I choose each day to fight rather than give up. I am considering surgery #5 (revision). I do not know if I can force myself to endure it but as a thinking and logical person I have to concede that losing another 100lbs would prolong my life 10 to 15 years. Thus, I sit her today writing this blog for others and myself.

Thanks for joining my play….come in the next act starts soon.

There is a great event this weekend sponsored by ObesityHelp and Realize Band. Over 250 persons are expected to join the weekend seminar. Beginning Friday evening at 6pm with a welcome reception and continuing through midnight on Saturday the weekend is full of great information and social gatherings.

When:
October 23, 02:00 pm - October 24, Midnight 2009

Where:
Hilton Rye Town
699 Westchester Avenue
Rye Brook, NY

For more information go to:
Click here for event website

About the area:

The Hilton Rye Town hotel, located in the New York City suburb of Rye, NY, is ten minutes east of White Plains, NY in Westchester County and
just two miles from the Connecticut border. This hotel is ten minutes from Greenwich, CT and only 35 minutes away from Manhattan, NY by train or by car.

We have negotiated a very special guest room rate of $109 for this event! Our group booking code is OBH. Provide this to reservations when you book your room.

Announcements:

MELTINGMAMA is coming to Rye Brook event. We’re kicking off our 2009 Regional Event Season with professional and dynamic speakers, such as Dr. Garth Davis M.D. and Mary Jo Rapini PH.D, stars of Discovery Health’s BIG MEDICINE! In addition to the tremendous insight that they offer, we will have breakout speakers in the areas of bariatric surgery and plastic surgery who are at the top of their fields, along with related professionals.

**Special Announcement: For the first 50 people who register online for and attend the Friday October 23rd meet and greet at this event, your name will be put into a drawing for a $100 gift card. You must be present to win and be on our registration list. This registration list is electronically pulled from our online purchase system. Attendees can win only one prize per event. Walk-ups do not qualify for the Friday night drawing, but may still attend.

Be sure to join us on Friday from 2pm-5pm for a clothing exchange! Bring your gently used, washed clothing that you no longer wear and go home with new clothing items from our exchange! Be sure to bring bags to transport your valuable finds!

If you would like to be involved in our member fashion show, please contact kim@obesityhelp.com for information! High resolution “Before” pictures to be sent in for presentation and show on Saturday at the beginning of our dance and social!!

Free parking on site
Indoor pool!

I wanted to invite everyone to tune into Big Medicine on November 18th to see the “Where are they now reunion show” for Big Medicine. For those of you who do not know Big Medicine is a show dedicated to the Dr’s who perform bariatric surgery. The show has enjoyed much attention from the media and bloggers. If you or someone you know is considering obesity surgery this show will help you understand how the surgery might help your situation.

November 18th at 9:00 PM EST Discovery Health will air a reunion show detailing the progress of many of the patients who have been on the Big Medicine show. Hosted by father and son team Dr. Robert and Garth Davis, of Houston, TX. This will be a show no one should miss!

Consult your local listings for channel information.

Blast from the past… was a funny movie that featured a family that had accidentially hidden themselves in a nuclear bunker for years thinking that war had destroyed their ‘world’. Many years later Brand Fraiser emerges to find that in fact, there was no war at all. The comedy centers around the main character being a man ‘out of touch with times’.

Today, I feel a little bit like that out-of-touch with time man. I have had my head in the work clouds for so long that I have totally neglected my blogs and my friends. Sorry friends. Sorry self. But, I thought today would be a good day to start as ‘tomorrow’ never comes.

Today I am going to review a product that has been in the bariatric industry for some time and has become a staple product.

But, before I review the product I thought it might be nice for me to review a person behind the product. I had the priviledge to meet Tom Kinder, CEO of Bariatric Advantage about 5.5 years ago. I think I will go on a limb to say that I immediately liked Tom and felt he was person with whom I had almost nothing in common with (he is tall, blonde, thin, etc) however, we did share one major commonality - we both care about people who suffer from Obesity. From that common framework I soon learned that Tom and I both share a passion for business, marketing, and at the end of the day spending time with our family is the reason we ‘do it all’. As a friend, I have found Tom to be a kind a generous person with whom spending time is a pleasure. I have used BA products for years and I must say that Tom has always asked for and listened to my feedback. I have watched the company grow and expand -becoming the #1 vitamin vendor in the bariatric space. With that in mind…let’s talk about the product.

Bariatric Advantage, produces a high quality bariatric forumulated vitamin that is designed to be nutritionally balanced for unique needs of gastric bypass patients. Now, as to not attempt to get to far into the scientific aspects of HOW this works; I will focus my review on the fact THAT is works. Because the gastric bypass mechanical digestion process has been so altered the body has a difficult times absorbing both general food and vitamin.

This mal-absorption is what causes weight loss and as a by-product produces a non-favorable side-effect - vitamin malabsorption. This is a problem.

What Bariatric Advantage is designed to do is absorb quickly into the body thereby providing the body the essential vitamins and minerals to maintain healthy living! - This is a clear advantage (living is a good thing).

For today’s review I am going to reivew the Baritaric Advantage multi-vitamin, Calcium, and new Chewy bars.

Our “scale” in todays review is “A” scale. - “Advantage scale :-)” One “A” being “Not good product” to five “A’s” being awesome product.

Multi-vitamin:

Taste: AAAA
Balance with necessary vitamins and minerals: AAAAA
Longevity (can this be done daily): AAAAA
Price: AAAA
Overall: AAAA
Note: let’s face there is nothing really exciting about a vitamin it is allot like breathing it just has to be done.

Calcium:

Taste: AAAAA (I love the cinnamon because tasts like altoids)
Forumulated for bariatrics-calcium citrate: AAAAA
Longevity (can this be done daily): AAAAA
Price: AAAA
Overall: AAAAA
Note: any vitamin or mineral that tastes like a “candy” has my vote. It isn’t easy to love a supplement but, I do love the cinnamon calcuim tabs.

New Control Bar - Apple Cinnamon :

Taste: AAAAA (I love the Apple cinnamon - great breakfast bar)
Forumulated for bariatrics: AAAAA
Longevity (can this be done daily): AAAAA
Protein: 12 grams
Calories: 150 cals.
Price: AAA
Overall: AAAAA

To buy Bariatric advantage products please visit: http://www.bariatricadvantage.com/catalog

This is not a paid endorsement nor constitutes any relationship between author and product.